That's What Food Eats

“Veggie, vegan, it’s all in a plan!”
On a soap box his words were flame.

I ignored his diatribe, and
to the book on good health I subscribed.
“You’ll eat better and better my good man.
Grains, legumes, tubers, non-gluten
(gluten grain, in the stomach a possible pain)
but over all, it’s good for you.
By-the-way don’t forget the goldn rule:
don’t just gulp and swallow,
you must tho-roughly chew chew.

“That’s what food eats!” again he exclaimed.
(Hair pulling out, red face, oh such pain)
“Veggies, it’s what cows and pigs and horses consume.
It’s the alien takeover plan, we’re cattle I know it’s true.
Don’t you see it old man, right in front of you?”

I thought him nuts, as I munched a few
Said I to him, “It’s a better way to eat
A better way to live, animals, don’t consume
love the animals don’t eat them.”

“No doubt, a slogan propagated
we know by what and whom,
alien beings just fooling you.”
Exasperated he shook his head,
“the truth, to you, and obvious no show.”

“How do you think we got here? He continued his rant.
We ate meat, our brains grew, we became bigger than ants.
What we are, what should be
and not the losers in the race.
In the mirror look, your brain, your face.

I to him, in firm defense I stood proud and free
“You blaspheme my good man. The gods decree
that we all be meat free.
It is written in the book of health
On a show of okra and others like herself.
It’s a decree, a decree say I to thee.
Be gone you fool let me eat
Veggies and nuts and all that stuff.
Let me be free.
But meat to eat?
No, no, certainly Not me.”

Said he, “You’re a fool, a tool,
All you vegan veggie toufu eaten, food for fooo...”

Lightening from the gods above
a crispy critter, burnt, eyes all agog.
A smile crossed my face, correct
The gods approve my aprobate, I still stand erect.
And from the sky they struck him dead, with
The green blue red sizzle, then
to my salad I looked and thought,
wouldn’t it just be funny, looking
looking at the smoldering simmering pit
where he once stood, now cooked
an idiot
claiming on his falsehood hooked
eating animals for food.
What a fool.
But yes, cooked, he did smell good.